The Paleo Lifestyle Pyramid!

Posted on December 26, 2012

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I may have had a few drinks while writing this.

I’m sure many of you have come across the Paleo Diet pyramid. There are various iterations out there but it typically looks as such:

paleo diet pyramid

Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any pyramid or hierarchy for the Paleo Lifestyle out there.

I know the Paleo Man is a busy guy – as you’ll see in the pyramid – so I thought I’d help him out. I got nervous at first, but then I remembered it’s so easy a caveman can do it.

Are you interested in being as jacked as a hunter gatherer? Do you want to indulge in the decadent lifestyle our ancestors got to experience in the Paleolithic era?

You’re in luck! Just stick to the tenets of this pyramid below and you’ll be on your way in no time!

(In case it’s not clear, captioning provides the rationalizations behind each lifestyle factor.)

paleo pyramid mine 2

CAVEAT TO THE ABOVE (CRUCIAL!): If you have access to ropes, gymnastics rings, kettlebells, a nice rubber 400 meter track, barbells, etc. then you should do away with the above. What do you do instead? Crossfit of course! So obvious a caveman would understand it.

Why? Well, I’m glad you asked! This is because while

“Modern diets are ill suited for our genetic composition”

and

“Evolution has not kept pace with advances in agriculture and food processing resulting in a plague of health problems for modern man”

(see link here )

Things such as nicely woven ropes and steel kettlebells are clearly optimally suited for our genetic composition.

And of course evolution has kept pace with things such as 400 meter circular rubber tracks, steel barbells, gymnastics rings…and tire flipping…and kettlebell snatches for 1000 reps…and Olympic weightlifting…

Go to hell.

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